I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
You tried to tell me you weren't high while you were eating French onion dip out of the jar with a spoon
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
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