ignore voicemail. the cock hath been unblocked.
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
I'm eating tomato paste and drinking banana juice that is expired. Can we please get groceries tonight?
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
She's better-looking with the mask on.
Randomize
