Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
I've taken a shot every five minutes for the past twenty. His valentines cupcakes are going to be a fucking delicious vodka induced mess. Thinking about putting vodka in this next batch. I'm the best girlfriend.
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
I may have passed out and puked all over the host's favorite couch, but three hours and a rip later, I was eating tiramisu in the bathtub with the birthday boy and a hot Italian.
Randomize
