We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
He gave me the choice between a threeway with his best friend or a tiny turtle. Unfortunately I chose the threeway.
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
Make me food? I don't want to be a science experiment. I'm dunk. Holy shit. Drunk*. Let's do science.
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
Grandma keeps pulling a bottle of captain from her pocket and spiking people's drinks.. She just yelled "I'm DAMN HOT to be a grandma!" .. I LOVE HER.
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
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