spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
Noooo. I told you she WAS a cancer. Not that she HAS cancer. This was the one time being a doctor didnt get you laid you alcoholic bastard
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
Randomize
