I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
mom in a round about way told me to either donate my eggs or become a surrogate bcuz I need money.
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
Screaming "dámelo" at the bottle of scotch was definitely my best and worst moment of Cinco de Mayo 2015.
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
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