I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
I was on my way last night when some asshole yelled "make better life choices" out the window of his car. I felt so self conscious I went home.
You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
My bail money is reserved for people I either A, think were in the right, or B, have an awesome story that leads up to needing it. Just remember that before you call me.
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
Randomize
