Just brushed my teeth...forgot we used this toothbrush in bed last night.
I just woke up with a girl who has left and right tattoed on her wrists. In french. I may need to stop drinking.
I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
You gave me your shirt to use as a napkin every time I spilled beer on myself. Before we went to the bar.
Omg my butt feels so much better. Those suppositories are magic. It feels like Jesus fingered me in my sleep.
MY INSIDES ARE BASICALLY BEING WRUNG BY A CHAINSAW IM NEVER TAKING PLAN B AGAIN
You can't do wine Netflix and blow jobs in the bed you've had since 5th grade with your parents downstairs
The cop took you back from the hospital and the lady at the front desk said "how are you doing cal?" You said "how do you know my name?" she responded "you're the only person i've ever seen that can throw up in your back pocket." Skills dude.
Randomize
