Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
"Where are you? Where are my keys? What is this guys name again? Why am I wearing two pairs of your pants?"
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
It's a testament to the kinds of spouses/parents we will be that we get so wasted but still show up to every class on time. We honor our commitments bitches!
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize
