found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
I was just texting to see if your vagina was working yet.
We were sexting and at the end, instead of us having sex, he decided to put "we fell asleep in each others arms."
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
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