i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
You think if I promise to behave for the rest of my life, god will let me fuck her on the regular?
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
I'm going on a valentine's date with the random guy i hooked up with in the bar bathroom this weekend...i feel like julia roberts
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
In other news: I found out that my mom used to fuck my newest fuck buddy's dad when they were in school.
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment
HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
You do realize it’s only a matter of time before I have a bad day and come home with an alpaca?
Randomize
