Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
the bouncer watched the girl drop her ID, saw me pick it up and say OMG SHE LOOKS LIKE ME, and then let me use it to get into the bar
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
I think this hangover is going to kill me. If it succeeds I would like you to read a dramatic rendition of 'Trapped in the closet' complete with interpretative dance at my funeral.
Parents said they were cutting off my AmEx card. So I immediately went up to the liquor store and purchased $550 of booze before it was canceled. I'm expecting your arrival in 30 minutes.
I puked walking onto the plane. How do you think my post-Birthday hangover went?
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
I just chased my hot mailman down the street to ask him out and now I am 98% positive he gave me a fake number.
Randomize
