do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
I caught myself flirting with clients today. Someone needs to take me to pound town before I self destruct. This is a code red. I repeat code red.
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
woke up with a tree in my apartment. also the everclear bottle is suspiciously low
suspiciously? i think one of those explains the other
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