i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
I passed out drunk and Jane had created a picnic on my chest. I had chips and a hamburger laid out on my boobs. The only reason I woke up is she was trying to feed me too.
I tried to high-five the cop last night. he just looked at my raised hand and told me to go to bed.
Food poisoning on first date... Still rode the mechanical bull like a champ
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
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