the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
I sharted in my sleep... I didnt even think that was possible.
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
Why was I so drunk last night that I licked the bar and then the bartenders face? Why didn't you stop me? We can never go back there.
Our Uber driver pulled over to show us Tinder some dick pics. Top that.
Randomize
