Princesses don't give blow jobs
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
You know you're a whore when you color code your calendar with who you slept with on what day incase you have ANOTHER pregnancy scare
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
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