I'm gonna cuddle the shit out of you tomorrow
Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
I drove to my yoga class while eating a piece of bacon. Wow. I see myself in a whole new light.
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
Please don't give away my fajitas
Randomize
