Kareoke will never be a sober sport
his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
you left a paper here that says 'to do list' but it looks like you just wrote "drink a bunch of cough syrup and watch Who's the Boss" like 60 times
If the boyfriend of the drunk girl you just met asks her if she made a "special friend" you're going to have a threesome. For future reference.
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
Escorted out of jimmy johns because I refused to leave with my dog. Stole a loaf of bread on the way out.
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
You got up in the middle of a sentence, puked, came out and poured another glass of wine and continued your story.
Randomize
