So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
He did not appreciate the "you did reuse the diamond" comment when looking at his new fiance's ring.
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
And then she sprinted three blocks through live traffic towards McDonalds screaming "THE GOLDEN ARCHES ARE CALLING ME"
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
Randomize
