Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
she just fell off the couch. onto a bag of pretzels. her face resembled a cat that just swallowed a sock.
Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
all of the sudden, the other guy at the bar who was celebrating his birthday got a super inspired look on his face and then screamed at me ''our parents fucked on the same day!''
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
Why do you think it's a no-pants party?
Invite says "dress to impress". Her fault for leaving it open to interpretation.
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
