1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
worst morning ever. completed my walk of shame home to find my parents, grandma, and priest had come down to surprise me on my birthday. now i'm in the car with them to go get my car from the bar.
Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
There's a 35% chance I'm still residually drunk from last night.
And you say you're not good with numbers...
And I'm still awake, and you left me. Like the guy on Jurassic Park, that jumped out of the car expecting me to save myself while there is a man eating T-rex ready to tear my ass apart except theres a mathematician and paleontologist there to save me because they are bad asses.
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
then he said the sex was mediocre and that it was because of me. and that we could try again tomorrow.
it was 100% mediocre because of him, and we will 100% not be trying again tomorrow.
Randomize
