I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
You tried to tell me you weren't high while you were eating French onion dip out of the jar with a spoon
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
Well he was mad because I chose tequila over him. He obviously doesn't understand that he will always be second to my first true love.
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
FUCK YOU VODKA I'M TRYING TO ADULT RIGHT NOW
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
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