I wannas sexs uuuuu
Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
i woke up with 5 inch heels locked on my feet and my car keys missing. this is gonna be an interesting walk home
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
Randomize
