hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
I want to fling myself into the sun
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
Randomize
