my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
Randomize
