How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
no today was horrible, i woke up and somebody slit my car tire and left an apology letter in my wiper that said "sorry wrong house"
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
Note for the future: whiskey syrup is AMAZING on 3am pancakes.
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
I ran into him drunk, barefoot, at rite aid and he said I looked "stunning." Yeah, Stunningly shitfaced haha
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
I never thought I'd have to apologize for tasting like absinthe and cheetos before tonight
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
Did I tell you about my dream that I got handed a $100 and my vagina dissolved it? I think it wants me to not be a whore anymore.
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
Randomize
