she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
Just had to explain my "wine me. Dine me. Sixty-nine me" key chain to my grandma...she took it surprisingly well.
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
My tub is filled with twinkies which would be awesome if they were still wrapped and not floating in a mixture of bath water and what appears to be vomit.
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
So I ended the trip with two cold sores, poison ivy on my leg and vagina, and no alcohol or weed. WORST. 4TH. OF. JULY. EVER.
Randomize
