I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
I asked for my Beats earbuds back and he sent me a pic of them tied around his penis. Now I miss both my great ear buds and his great dick
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
Randomize
