All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
I've seriously contemplated telling him the baby isn't his just so I can meet Maury Povich
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
My liver is crying. And I feel like I got fingered by Edward Scissorhands. While he was wearing brass knuckles
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
Like I owe him sex. Hell fucking no. I owe myself sex. With a celebrity. Or a clean pornstar. Who knows.
Randomize
