i would punch a child for taco bell
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
So it turns out my dad calls his penis "John" which means he either named me after his penis or his penis after me
Dude i don't know we had to beg the bouncer to let us in because you were bleeding everywhere and he saw you run into a dumpster
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
He threw me over his shoulder and carried me outside, all the while drinking from the bottle of rum he was holding, while my ex watched. I'm winning the break-up.
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
My New Year's resolution consists of less weekday hangovers, more sex, and more money.
I wanna print it out and hang it on the fridge like parents do with good report cards.
oh the joys of a picture of a negative pregnancy test
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
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