he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
btw ... thanks for not giving me up as the craigslist killer
i owe you one
thanks for snagging those panties for me
I just realized that my mother and I have the same favorite sex position, Guess which one!
OMG! Ew.
Lucky Dad.
half the nation just spent an hour watching a balloon fly around. we are officially the dumbest fucking country.
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
Siri just reminded me to pickup Plan B
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
you started shaking the frozen steak while screaming "THIS IS CAPITALISM" before rubbing it all over your chest and passing out on your dog
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
Randomize
