do you want me to make hamburgers?
i'm vegan
i'll put lettuce on them
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
Bringing my cat to a booty call was not my finest hour
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
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