We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
This morning I saw a frozen puddle in front of my RA's door and I laughed, assuming someone poured water in hopes that she would slip and fall. That's when my roommate told me I had peed there last night. Thank you Captain Morgan!
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
Randomize
