She's JV to your varsity
I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
Don't worry, your car is safe with me. I am throwing watermelons out of it at mailboxes and hipster kids.
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
Your topless pictures make me question reality
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
I am watching the most amazing drunk person ever. Literally such a trooper that you can put anything in front of him he'll drink it. His latest reason for taking another shot was: well whatever. I'm never gonna get married anyway.
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
Randomize
