Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
I told my new friends about my possible new chin. They said I should get my nose done first. Please tell me I'm pretty or something.
I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
So I'm really hungover walking to work and these douches from comcast on bikes ask if they can take a picture with me to show that they're doing their job. The picture: me, this chick from comcast, i'm holding a 2 ft. pixie stick, a comcast flyer and i'm puking in the parking lot. sounds like their doing a good job!
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
I am spending my work day planning my weekend drinking schedule
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
I hit him with a car. Nothing says I hate you more than backing into someone with a fucking car.
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
YOU HAVE TO STOP TELLING BARTENDERS WE DON'T HAVE MORAL STANDARDS
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
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