That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
in the middle of telling this chick to sober up i was shotgunning beers. im gonna be ab awsome nurse.
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
Randomize
