$35 all you can drink last night. Friend 1 woke up in a hotel lounge, friend 2 pissed himself and woke up wearing friend 1's spare pants, and my toilet indicates I threw up extensively.
I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
Friends don't let friends put redi whip in their wine
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
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