I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
You sprayed lysol all over me. You said that my soberness was infecting your night.
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
Then, halfway through our conversation, I remembered what you drunkenly told me last night and was all "maintain eye contact, do not look at his massive penis".
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
Trusting in Jesus is not a viable birth control plan.
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
Randomize
