he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
make sure you eat your skittles last so when you barf you can barf RAINBOWS.
I'm glad you enjoy my eating disorder so much.
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
I'm reciting my presentation (beer in hand) on the porch to a snowmen audience.
Yeah, I probably scared him away when I drunkenly told him we'd have beautiful children
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
I have way too big of a thanksgiving food baby to enjoy any of my old high school booty calls
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
Randomize
