the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
NOT EVEN KIDDING RIGHT NOW. THE GUY IN THE SPIDERMAN COSTUME JUST FELL OFF THE ROOF INTO A BABY POOL. GET HERE NOW!!
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
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