But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
Just learned a valuable lesson today. Don't open snap chats from 3 am the next morning while sitting next to a small child. They totally saw your dick.
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
Jesus when did you leave my house? I found 2 bottles of wine, vodka, and a book with blow all over it wondering if I was read bedtime stories
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
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