I think I just saw someone hide a body.
So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
Randomize
