A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
The chick I hooked up with last night is my girlfriend older sister. Who is in town visiting. Who I just met. Who I just had dinner With. Who is here along with their parents and the whole family. How did my luck get so bad?
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
Who shows up to work two weeks ago still drunk and freshly high on blow and gets a promotion and a raise? This girl. Good at business. Super good at being fucked up.
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
You fell asleep mid blowjob with my vibrator in your HAND. So no, I will not bring you pizza.
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
Randomize
