Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
Woke up in 100% not my clothes this morning. Third time this month. Fuck. Tequila.
when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
I also farted in bed this morning and said, "I don't even care. My body deserves that."
Randomize
