dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
So gin and wine won't be happening again
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
Next time you think about divorce, consider this: a hot guy just walked in and I tried to suck in my back fat.
WHAT THE FUCK JASON, WHY IS THERE A FREE BLOW JOBS BY LISA SIGN IN MY FRONT LAWN WITH MY PHONE NUMBER ON IT?! PEOPLE ARE PULLING INTO MY DRIVEWAY!
He could stay over, if you'd just ask.
Yeah. What am I supposed to say? "Oh, my couch is occupied, but my vagina's not"
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
Yea... The gym isn't gunna happen today... When I was drunk last night I tried to prove I could front flip off the wheel cover of a semi... I fucked up my shoulder pretty bad... It was more of a roll
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
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