the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
Btw, you're my emergency contact at Planned Parenthood
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
Duck, Duck, Goose is now the autocorrect, safe for work version of fuck, fuck, loose.
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
Randomize
