what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
I have bruises covered in glitter and someone just asked me if I realized I'm bleeding from both ears. This is awkward.
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
I'm gonna go drown myself in the shower. Make sure to cover me up before the paramedics arrive. I'm too fat to be seen naked right now.
Things I just found under my covers: protein bar, string cheese, vibrator.
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
this relationship shit is hard. like i'd like to be able to watch veep without him trying to dry hump me. also im drunk and its 11 am so
Please remind me tomorrow that I ate a loaf of jimmy johns bread on the toilet 5 mins ago
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
Randomize
