I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
Did you ever hear the story about the time I did blow in a bar bathroom with the #1 ranked golfer in the world?
Twas still the Saturday before Christmas \nAnd it’s still fucking snowing\nAnd Steve wished he slowed down \nOn all the fucking drinking
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
I was taking this cougar home in the middle of the night I walked across the hall all naked to take a piss and ran into to some chick from highschool she said no way you are fucking my mom ran into her moms room and started yelling at her
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
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