Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
We were sexting and at the end, instead of us having sex, he decided to put "we fell asleep in each others arms."
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
complete strangers are now referring to me as 'the bourbon guy.' i can live with this.
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
And one night I got way too drunk and thought he said call me a polish name so I called him Konrad. Now he thinks I cheated on him with a Konrad.
That's my new pick up line call me a polish name
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like running into your ex boyfriend at the liquor store at 3 in the afternoon.
Randomize
