Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
I just saw a hot homeless man
Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
I am not kidding you. There is an airport luggage cart overturned in my driveway. We need to stop going to the airport bar.
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
Finding an empty bathroom to shit on campus is like the quest for the fucking Holy Grail. Except with more stench and humiliation.
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
Randomize
