Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
Last night I fell down in the street (I think in someone's vomit), cut my knee up, lost my moms necklace and my license, and had to walk back to the hotel.
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
I need a priest, doctor, and therapist after this weekend.
You came walking in the backyard at 10am, in cowboy boots, a new shirt, and had no money,....we lost you for 15 hours....i think you just need a camera crew, or an assistant. IMPRESSED!
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
I'm sorry I get my lefts and rights confused because I'm dyslexic. But, it took you at least 15 minutes to figure out it wasn't your room OR YOUR HUSBAND.
Randomize
