You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit
just looked in the mirror, I fell asleep with a face mask on. At least drunk me cares that much about the condition of my skin
Next time I say "Watch this" Get me the fuck out of the bar.
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
Hate the very realistic pregnancy dreams. Like my dream when I birthed the pirate ships. SO REAL...
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.
And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
I feel like I got run over by a steamroller made of cigarettes and booze driven by all of the men I've slept with.
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
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