Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
what day is it and did you see me today?
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
Somehow I magically turned down a threesome last night. On my birthday. You're a horrible wingman.
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
You went full blown lifeguard... You wouldn't let me sleep until I was in the safety position, so I wouldn't die in my sleep...
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
I woke up in a warehouse with the words “Property of Adam” written on my chest in frosting.
Randomize
